Fireworks or Bonfire; Same Difference?

I have a nostalgic view of fireworks, especially the annual display in Bute Park. I can remember going there with elderly relatives in mittens, wanting to go so close to the bonfire that it melted the candy floss I had persuaded them to buy. This year was completely difference.

Four of us walked down to the park and pretty soon could hear a disturbance. Was it antisocial prols listening to their car stereo too loudly or having an obscenely roucus party? Not the least of it. It was coming from the park.

Gone was all form of innocence (admittedly the ritual does mark the burning of some naughty Catholics, so its not that innocent to start with). We were herded about 2 miles out of our way, into the park, where we were assaulted by fellow firework-goers umbrellas; call me old fashioned, but a child under 4" should not have an umbrella. I don't know how many times a small child ran into me with umbrella spokes, then looked up as is I'd grabbed the offensive object and rammed it up my own nose.

I was surprised and a little mystified to see a large stage covering one of the Blackwier pitches, with some talentless flloozies trolling up and down it. I am still unsure why the Can-Can tune kept appearing....maybe I imagined it.

I was very surprised to hear one of the appallingly bad compares mumble an introduction to Same Difference. Thinking I had misheard, I look up at the stage, and there they were - camp, cheeze. We love it!

Same Difference have a new single coming out at the end of November (pick yourselves off the floor, and have a large G&T). They announced it is called 'We are one', one of the friends I was with added 'I don't know about her, but he's definitely one!'. After that comment, everything else was very disappointing, especially the fireworks.

The only option to recover was champagne cocktails and games of bridge into the wee hours.

Cardiff Fireworks verdict: Pay your neighbour 7 pounds to make their dog sick. It will be more spectacular and probably more colourful.